S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y, Hey!

Saturday night I went to see Superbad with a buncho my friends. It was fun! I loved the movie, but we all knew I would, right? Part of the fun was to hear my friends laughing. There were quite a few of us, and the whole movie part of my brain was noticing which of my friends laughed at what part.

I? Laughed at pretty much everything. Because that's how I roll.

After the movie, Leslie and I walked out together, because we're the only single gals, and we wanted to at least walk out with someone. I invited her to come by some night and hang out, then we decided WHY NOT NOW? Why NOT now?? Now is fun! We're so spontaneous!

Then Les decides we should go by the Loop, and get some food (which we totally paid for if anyone ever asks) since Nicole was working there.

Why do all my stories involving bad things happening to me start out with "Well, I was hanging out with Leslie, and..."

We go in and see Nicole, get some food, and as we walk out I cannot find my keys. I'm thinking "Surely I did not lock my keys in my car! Right??" But we go outside, and Lo. We saw the keys in the cup holder, and it was bad.

I used Nicole's cell phone to call Angie to see if she had a house key, in case I couldn't get into my car. Because locksmith's cost money, and I did not want to bash my window in, and I figured that I could call around to my friends and find SOMEONE manly enough to get my car door unlocked and rescue my keys. Love-love-love Angie, who didn't hesitate a second to drive all the way from Ohatchee to pick us up at the Loop, so that we could drive to Attalla to go through her keys and get my spare house key.

(should I mention here that her husband was in the basement trying to clean up a mini-flood caused by a leak from the washing machine? and that our favorite 9-month-old, Lyla, freaked out when Angie tried to leave, so Angie had to get her up and into her car seat, therefore breaking the sacred "Baby Schedule"?? She is a SAINT. A SAINT I say to you!)

Leslie, and her boobs, lured two guys that work at the Loop into the parking lot to help me get into my car. God Bless them and their red-blooded American boob-loving, too. I mean, sometimes we women are all "Gah, he was staring at my boobs the whole time!" but then we forget the POWER of our BREASTS to get men to do our bidding. Our breasts are like superheros, if you think about it.

But I digress. These men spent over an hour trying to get into my car. It went like this:

Wire hanger.
Knife to pry door open, wire hanger to try and press unlock button.
Knife broken.
Leslie finds crowbar! Yay, Leslie!
Crowbar used to pry open door for wire hanger placement.
Angie supplies flashlight. Yay, Angie!
Antennae taken off car to replace weak-ass wire hanger.

At this point, I said it was like being SO CLOSE to an orgasm but not quiiiite being able to get there. Plus, Angie kept screaming things like "You're ON IT! Just press it a little more! OH DAMN you almost got it!"

Finally, one of the guys can't take it anymore, and he curses and goes to his car, where I suppose he's going to get some sort of large brick-shaped object to bash through my window. I really couldn't blame him if he had. I mean, we're working with two men, and 3-4 women are watching them (Nicole made supportive appearances. and also she made fun of me.) do their work. There was NO WAY those guys were going to give up. Not with 6-8 breasts standing around. Not to mention it was HOT outside, and tempers were rising, and I just fully expected dude to bash in my window, pull out my keys all "Me get keys! Keys good!"

I would've been okay with that, by this point.

But no, what he pulled out of his car was something that kinda resembled a curtain rod. He pried my door open to the point of breaking it to get it inside, and Leslie is CRINGING (terrified, I'm sure, that I will be telling a story entitled "I Hung Out With Leslie and Now My Car Door is Broken" (ooo.. country song..)) and holding the flashlight, and the rest of us are holding our breath, hardly unable to watch, and then......

The sound of all four doors unlocking.

AMAZING! INCREDIBLE! There were screams of joy! There was hugging! There were promises of new pocket knives! There was more hugging! An angel got their wings! There was much rejoicing in the Loop parking lot.

Leslie came home with me after, and I swear to all things holy, I was so happy to have my keys I really thought about just running around and unlocking everything JUST BECAUSE I COULD.

We stayed up late watching bad TV and playing Guitar Hero 2 (teaching Les how to play deserves it's own entry). But the moral of the story is this: Even though hanging out with Leslie is dangerous, it is always, ALWAYS gonna give me a reason to blog.

And that is why I love her.

~