Haze

As far as I'm concerned, there is no better time than Autumn. Last night Angie and I went for a walk around my neighborhood and it was cool outside. We had so much fun. We walked by the church I grew up in, and that Angie went with me to starting around age 14. We were both blown away and smiling and laughing and remembering. (oh my GOD remember when.... oh no! oh no.. I wish I DIDN'T remember...)

Boy.... do I remember. That place is the home of some of the best and worst memories of my life. My social life growing up revolved around my friends at church much more than my friends at school. I wished I could go inside to look around. We walked around the side of the church.. aka... the make-out spot. If those bricks could talk, well, most of us wouldn't be welcome back at that church. (I would.. I was good.. how boring)

We sat on the front steps of the church and Angie said "We both walked down these stairs as brides." I looked through the hand rail at the side of the steps where I'd walked down with Alex. What a short distance to have come so far. To say it was bittersweet would be an understatement. I looked in the windows and just being there....

You remember when you were a teenager? And you got your heart broken and it felt like you would JUST NEVER get over that pain? But then, you did. You grew up, and you got over it. And now, it just doesn't hurt anymore. There is no sting. Only a slight smile at how silly you were to think that emotion could kill you, and a tiny pang at how naive you were. Faced with the memories of all my formative years, I gave my teenage angst a salute and we walked home.

Today? I don't know.. but I kinda feel good. I mean, really good. Deep down from the bottom of your toes good. I feel like smiling for no reason. In the midst of the worst heartbreak of my life so far, and I feel like running around like a little kid. Funny how life works.