Oh, Internet

I had to report my 2nd disk missing to Netflix, and I got totally stressed that sirens were going to go start going off, and men would come repelling from the oak tree out front, descend on my house, all "Freeze! We KNOW YOU HAVE THE MOVIE!"

So, I went online to Google what the SOP was for how many movies you can return before they freeze your account.

Here's a post from Nick:

It's a totally random number, based on where you live and what type of movies you report as missing. If you want to get away with it, you have to be patient. You need a pattern of reporting movies missing that later show up in a weeek or so. What makes you suspicious is to report discs as missing all the time and they don't turn up in a week or so. Anyone who gets their account frozen for this is either unlucky or dishonest. Netflix is not going to freeze your account for ordinary usage, where DVDs do occasionally vanish.

I'm betting they use a VOICE STRESS ANALYZER on you, as people are saying they had to make a PHONE CALL to make Netflix unfreeze their account. So I'd be careful about calling them if you were less than honest about a movie turning up as "missing." Why else would we have to use an obsolete and intrusive communication device?

Dude's response:

Voice stress analyzer haaaaaaaa no.

Anyways how much does netflix pay for these discs? I think its significantly less than you and I pay since they only buy the discs and do so in bulk. So I highly doubt they even give 2 sh*ts if discs go missing no matter how often. Wouldnt it be nice if we could buy only the discs straight from the companys through the mail/web? I am still wondering why there is nothing like this available.

And again? Nick:

Don't laugh. I think that Microsoft uses VSA's when folks call in to activate Windows XP for the 10th time because they like to re-format their hard drive every month. What other reason is there for requiring a phone call instead of just email or a web form? If they ever try freezing my account, I'll get my credit card company involved to get back all my payments for the past few months. I'll point out how they were throttling my account and punishing me because of postal incompetent/thievery.

Does anyone else feel that Nick takes himself a wee bit too seriously? Nick is like that guy you sometimes have to hang out with, who tells you that the plot of National Treasure is like “totally real, and you don’t even know it!” and then pulls out a dollar bill and proceeds to spend the next hour trying talk you into believing.

And then, this little gem:

actually netflix will probably pay a significant amount more for each DVD than you would. i think it is around a $1000 disk, because they have to pay for the license to rent the movie. so you could be costing netflix alot of money by "losing" the disks.

Posted by: jane

And the reply right under it?

$1000 a disk, oh that's just too damn funny.

See jane get a computer.
See jane get on the internet.
See jane type.
See jane's ideas come out of her ass.

Posted by: wellsobserver

Internet, I love you. I do, I do, I do!

~