Even Satanists Get the Blues

I just spent my morning reading bulletins posted from a Satanist having MySpace drama.

And let me tell you, if you think Satanism is just a bunch of bloodletting and baby killing, you are WRONG. They get hurt if you hacksor their friend's account and post mean messages all over MySpace, too. They have FEELINGS.

Underneath all those pictures of demons having sex with women on a pile of dead bodies? There lies a heart, people. You can't just go around starting MySpace drama with Satanists thinking that they won't feel the pain. It's not right, and it's not fair. Between me and you, at first I thought it was Jesus that hacked the account. There are a LOT of pictures of Jesus on this guys page that are.. unsavory. I don't care what your pictures say, I do not believe that Jesus spoke and said "Satanspace.com totally fucking rules", and I don't think Jesus wants to be depicted as an emo kid, y'all. JESUS WILL TOTALLY HACK YOUR MYSPACE if you put that kinda stuff up there.

And Satanists do NOT play when you hack their MySpace. Check THIS:

"YOU HAVE NO PROBLEN HURTING WOMEN AND CONTROLING THEM I OFFER YOU A CHANCE AT ME ALL PAID BY ME I WILL COME TO YOU I WANT EVERYONE ON MYSPACE TO KNOW NO MATTER WHAT IF YOU ACCEPT OR DONT YOUR A PIECE OF SHIT. FREAK I WILL MEET YOU ANYWERE ANYTIME AND SHOW YOU WHAT A TWO TIME FELONY ASSUALT GET DOWN MOTHER FUCKER CAN DO. I KNOW YOUR USED TO PUSHING LITTLE GIRLS AROUND AND PLAYING HEAD GAMES WITH THEM BUT YOU JUST FUCKED WITH A REAL CRIM INAL. WHAT YOU DID HAS GOT YOU THE TITLE YOU DESERVER BACK STABBING FREAK AMONG US. AND YES THIS JUST MIGHT BE WORDS ON A KET BOARD BUT HOMEBOY IF YOU THINK YOUR A MAN I HAVE THE MONEY TO JUMP ON A PLANE AND COME TO YOU. I WOULD TAKE GREAT PRIDE IN SHOWING YOU WHAT A TRUE MAN CAN DO TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH YOU REMIND ME OF MY OLD CELL MATE I CALLED HIM TABEL SCRAPES."

Are you guys just dying to know what a "two time felony assualt get down mother fucker can do", or is it just me? I'm scared. I don't think for a MINUTE that those are just words on a "ket board". I think that dude will jump on a plane (cause he's got the money to do that shit, you better believe) and show him what a true man can do. Tabel Scrapes will TESTIFY.

Then I read this bulletin:

"today i went after a good friend if mine because someone keeps hacking ous accounts and i lnow this because they got my ziminar account. anyways please know that satan freak aka a_freak_umong_us had nothing to dowith what happened fuck the man was at work hacker if you try to frame someone atleast do i when there home. freak i'm so sorry this is ths second time today i have done this because of these low life scum that have nothing better to do than fuck with other peoples profiles. so please all friends and members please welcome back satans freak head leader of demons from hell his ne profile is in the making. sincerely anton creator of demons fron hell."

See, a real man apologizes in lowercase. That's how you know he means it.

All this made me start thinking about my own beliefs. You know, Jesus is way too smart to hacksor someone's MySpace when that person is at work, thus giving them an alibi. I can't believe I ever thought it was Jesus anyway, He's way too classy to hack your MySpace. Plus, Jesus is the only person that sincerely loves Emo Kids!

But I would NOT put that shit past Tabel Scrapes.

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