Excuses, Excuses

A.J. got into trouble at school today. Dana told him that they would "Talk About This When They Got Home" so he's just dangling on the hook. We started coming up with all A.J.'s possible excuses.

We named it:

What Had Happened Was


It was Billy's fault. He started it.

He said a bunch of stuff to all these different people.

Everyone hates Billy.

It was not just me. I barely said anything.

They have it in for me. Ever since I got suspended.

I’m not a tattletale like Billy or he would’ve gotten in trouble a long time ago.

You taught me to take up for myself and never let anyone run over me.

Today, that anyone was Billy.

He says way more bad stuff than I do.

This has been going on for a long time and I’ve been really upset about it.

The reason I didn’t tell you that the Vice Principle called me into her office two days ago to talk about this was:

· I was very busy doing homework
· I didn’t want to cause you any undue stress
· I thought you looked really busy. And pretty.
· She told me there was no need to tell you because I’m such a good kid, she didn’t want me to get in trouble.
· Did I mention that you were very pretty?

I was trying to stay away from him, but then Billy said something to ________ and he’s my best friend.

This whole incident could have been avoided if Billy had never been stupid.

He really does have funny looking hair, and that’s not my fault.

You know I always look out for people but Billy is not a person, he is a alien sent to earth just to torment me and the other kids in my middle school.

In conclusion, the amount of peer pressure in middle school today is up to 157% higher than it was when you were in school, and I cannot be held responsible for my actions while in this hotbed of prepubescent activities.

Thank you. I hope these excuses suffice.

P.S. Your hair looks good like that.