Things I Don't Want to Forget About Lyla

Lyla hates it when you take something away from her she's playing with, or when you go in a room and shut the door and she can't go in. When she gets mad, she screws up her face, grunts, ruuuuuuns across the room and hits a random piece of furniture. Then she turns around and looks at you like "You'd better be glad I'm controlling my rage. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN YOU."

Today she was turning a knob on the DVD player, and Angie was telling her "No". I happened to walk by and Angie said "Take her hand and pop her, she can't play with that." so I take her wee little hand, she looked up at me, and everything inside my body turned to marshmallow creme. I said "I can't do it! You do it!" and fled the scene. So much for thinking I'd be a good disciplinarian.

She's obsessed with my Crocs. Almost as soon as I take them off she's got them. I never can find them when I leave. Her fingers fit just right into the holes in the shoes and I think she thinks they're for her. Plus, she likes to slobber all over them. Sometimes when I put my feet in them to leave, there is baby slobber inside. It's pretty gross, but it makes me laugh every time.

Peek-a-boo makes her totally lose her shit. She likes to hide behind something and lean around the corner to peek at me. I say "I see you!" and she dies laughing. She's also graduated to that adorable thing where she covers her own eyes, and we say "Where's Lyla? Where'd she go??" and she flings her arms out and laughs and you say these magic words: "THERE SHE IS!" I'm telling you, it's like being Lyla's version of Mitch Hedberg.

Lyla laughs when other kids would cry. Today, she was trying to crawl on the ottoman to sit by me and she slipped, flipped over, and FACE PLANTED right in the carpet. We both froze. Lyla just looked over at Angie, and Angie said "Well, you gonna get up or just lay there all day?" and Lyla started dying laughing. Later, she hit Angie right in the face, so Angie tapped her on the cheek. It surprised Lyla so much that she fell backwards right on her ass. She burst out laughing. She got up and crawled right back up with Angie, and proceeded to smack her. Angie told her no, and smacked her on the leg (a "serious" one this time) and Lyla died laughing. Angie said "That was supposed to be a spanking! That was punishment!" which only made Lyla laugh harder. She said "Great, my kid is gonna be into S&M." and I said "She'll have a fetish for peek-a-boo, too, if today is any indication."

Peek-a-boo fetish. *SNORT*

She's started doing that thing where she just wants to take her clothes off and run around in a diaper. Only, she's not coordinated so she gets stuck with her clothes covering her face. She'll just walk around, bumping into stuff, until she makes it to Angie. Angie dresses her again (because she'll get a cold!) and the whole thing starts all over again. Today when she finally got her dress off I poked her in the belly button with my knitting needle. If you'd asked her right then, I'm sure she would've told you that I was the funniest person of ALL TIME.

Today she ran off in a corner and grunted over and over. This means she's taking a crap in her diaper. (which is so glamorous, no?) Angie said "She's going to the bathroom, she always runs off alone to do that. Lyla replied to that by slapping her high chair and saying ""Ooo beash" which obviously translates to "You bitch." I think Angie lets her watch too much Footballer's Wives.

Those are all my adorable Lyla stories for the day. Come by my office sometime, and I'll bore you with the 400 pictures I have of her, too. You know, just so you feel complete.

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