We Are Ridiculous
This week's shenanigans at work involved a smutty book and a banana. Not in the way you think, PERVERT. Gah! Don't touch my blog with your dirty pervert hands!
I bought some bananas at Food World, so they were sitting on my desk. Angie was in my office and I pulled a banana off the bunch and held it up to the Rosie the Riveter image on my desktop and said "You want a bite?" which made Angie laugh. (and that explains why we're friends) Of course then I had to offer the banana to every picture in my office.
Angie says "Act like it's a phone, that always cracks me up." so I immediately put it to my ear all "Hello? Hello? Are you there?" and Angie starts laughing like I am the funniest person ever. I'm all "Have you checked the produce? Have you?!" "The call is coming from INSIDE the banana!"
I buzz Dana to come into my office and hand her the banana and say "It's for you." and Dana? Well I just love her, because she puts the banana to her ear and pretends to have a conversation while Angie and I laugh and laugh.
I decide that we need to change out my supervisor's receiver with a banana. Angie is the look out, and Dana and I run over to Jenny's office. I unplugged the handset and we used tape in it's place to keep the phone off. We balanced the banana in place of the handset, (harder than it sounds) and just as we were trying to figure out what to do with the handset we unplugged, Lookout Angie motions that Jenny is coming. We flee to Celeste's office across the hall and drop off the reciever, then run back to my office to watch Jenny.
She walks in her office, there is a pause, and then she yells "Cookie!!"
Dude, how did she know it was ME????
******************
Our friend Nicole found this smutty book called "White Trash Tramp" at an estate sale in the historic district downtown. She gave it to Leslie for Valentine's Day as a joke. Leslie told me about it, but when she did, I thought it was just a romance novel. I love cheesy old romance novels so I tell her to bring it to me next time she comes over. She brought it last week, and even though I saw the title, I STILL did not get what kind of book it was. I started reading it and at first it was just benign and cheesy, and then I was like "Whoa.. now, THAT word is not in any romance novel I've ever read."
Not ONLY is it a badly written smut book? It's written by Micheal Scott. (only funny if you watch The Office) That book is SO written by a man, y'all. Only a man would think any of that stuff would ever happen. I brought the book to work because it was just too funny to keep to myself. Dana has fallen in love with it.
What's that?
What's what?
This word.
Vulva?
Yeah.
It's the vulva!
What is that?
It's the VULVA. You know.. down there.
It sounds like a car.
I just bought a new Vulva. Safest car on the road.
So what part exactly is the vulva?
You know.. it's the vulva part.
Let's Google it.
We are NOT Googling vulva on MY computer.
Hahahahahaha
You can just forget it.
I'm staying late one night just so I can Google it from your computer.
That is ALL I need, for IT to think I'm up in here Googling my vulva.
*******************
We watched Gone with the Wind at Girl's Night. The WHOLE thing. All 12 hours of it. It turns out that Rhett gives Scarlett the bonnet after Charles dies, not after Frank dies. Also, she drinks brandy, not scotch. Please forgive me, GWTW aficionados.
~
Angie says "Act like it's a phone, that always cracks me up." so I immediately put it to my ear all "Hello? Hello? Are you there?" and Angie starts laughing like I am the funniest person ever. I'm all "Have you checked the produce? Have you?!" "The call is coming from INSIDE the banana!"
I buzz Dana to come into my office and hand her the banana and say "It's for you." and Dana? Well I just love her, because she puts the banana to her ear and pretends to have a conversation while Angie and I laugh and laugh.
I decide that we need to change out my supervisor's receiver with a banana. Angie is the look out, and Dana and I run over to Jenny's office. I unplugged the handset and we used tape in it's place to keep the phone off. We balanced the banana in place of the handset, (harder than it sounds) and just as we were trying to figure out what to do with the handset we unplugged, Lookout Angie motions that Jenny is coming. We flee to Celeste's office across the hall and drop off the reciever, then run back to my office to watch Jenny.
She walks in her office, there is a pause, and then she yells "Cookie!!"
Dude, how did she know it was ME????
******************
Our friend Nicole found this smutty book called "White Trash Tramp" at an estate sale in the historic district downtown. She gave it to Leslie for Valentine's Day as a joke. Leslie told me about it, but when she did, I thought it was just a romance novel. I love cheesy old romance novels so I tell her to bring it to me next time she comes over. She brought it last week, and even though I saw the title, I STILL did not get what kind of book it was. I started reading it and at first it was just benign and cheesy, and then I was like "Whoa.. now, THAT word is not in any romance novel I've ever read."
Not ONLY is it a badly written smut book? It's written by Micheal Scott. (only funny if you watch The Office) That book is SO written by a man, y'all. Only a man would think any of that stuff would ever happen. I brought the book to work because it was just too funny to keep to myself. Dana has fallen in love with it.
What's that?
What's what?
This word.
Vulva?
Yeah.
It's the vulva!
What is that?
It's the VULVA. You know.. down there.
It sounds like a car.
I just bought a new Vulva. Safest car on the road.
So what part exactly is the vulva?
You know.. it's the vulva part.
Let's Google it.
We are NOT Googling vulva on MY computer.
Hahahahahaha
You can just forget it.
I'm staying late one night just so I can Google it from your computer.
That is ALL I need, for IT to think I'm up in here Googling my vulva.
*******************
We watched Gone with the Wind at Girl's Night. The WHOLE thing. All 12 hours of it. It turns out that Rhett gives Scarlett the bonnet after Charles dies, not after Frank dies. Also, she drinks brandy, not scotch. Please forgive me, GWTW aficionados.
~
posted by Cookie @ Thursday, March 13, 2008
1 Comments:
Jaimie told me some of the stuff in the book and she was all "who would want to do that?" And I told her nobody would actually want to that, but men hope that women would and a man wrote the book and there you go.
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