Stop Tryin' to Crush My Skull With Your Bare Hands and Take Me to Bed Already

It's storming out, and I can't sleep. Truth be told, I'm kinda scared. And since it's the middle of the night, I'm allowed to think of crazy things. Like, sometimes, when I can't sleep? I make up country song titles about Gone with the Wind. It's best when they are really long titles. Stuff like "My Baby Done Fell Off Her Horse and Died Just Like My Daddy Did".

Tonight, I can't stop thinking of Lost. The show has pissed me off for about two seasons and now that I'm into the third I can't believe how awesome it's getting. Finally, I feel like they're not teasing me anymore. Okay, teasing a little, but the kind I can stand. And I'm *still* not getting over the episode with Nikki & Paulo and the Medusa spider. If you don't watch Lost, you don't know what I'm talking about... but you guys I'm telling you that you should be watching this show. People kept telling me that and I totally pooh-pooh'd them. Whatever, I said. It can't be that much fun to watch. (that was me, being wrong)

What I really like about Lost is that it's the first show where I've fallen in love with the Lonely Hero. I'm not the Lonely Hero type. I'm more of a Tragic Villian type. Lonely Heroes bore me to death. And actually, if you want to get technical, I'm a Funny Sidekick girl. Always have been, always will be. I love a man who makes me laugh, especially in the face of danger?? Are you KIDDING ME? I live for it!

Lost totally got me, though. I mean, it wasn't that I didn't like Jack, I did! Jack and I would be friends, cause Jack is a Nice Guy. He's smart, and capable, and if you need rescuing in a scary jungle, Jack is your man. He's gonna come and get you, and you do NOT have to doubt that shit for a moment. You're like "But Cookie, what if there are..." and I'm immediately shushing you! There are NO WHAT IF'S when it comes to Jack. He is going to save yo' ass, girl. Don't even wurry 'bout it.

This season, the writers have totally tricked me. In one fell swoop, I fell in love with Jack. I didn't even see it coming! I really didn't! It was like one of those romantic comedies where the person realizes they might have been in love with them ALL ALONG and just didn't know it? And there is a big misunderstanding? Only our misunderstanding is that he's a fictional character lost on an island, and I'm in Alabama. But other than that, we are totally meant to be, y'all.

I feel mature now, because I actually like the Nice Guy. Don't get me wrong, the Tortured Soul Guy is totally hot and all, but if you wake up in the middle of the night scared of a thunderstorm, Tortured Soul guy is not who you want to deal with because you are having your own issues right now.

Jack is the only one that can save me from this thunderstorm. And I could be wrong, but I think he'd be surprisingly good at thinking up Gone with the Wind song titles.

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