Engine, Engine, Number 9

Jaimie and I were talking one night about the rhyming/clapping games we played when we were little girls. It started with me asking her if she had ever heard this playground taunt that we used all the time at my elementary school. She hadn’t. But now I feel like I should share it with everybody in case you need it someday.

It all starts out when someone at recess says something like: “You’re ugly.”

You reply with the coolest way you know how at 7 (or ever): “Yo’ mama.”

*insert a playground chorus of "ooOOoooOOooo..." here*

But Cookie, how would I respond to that stinging insult? Only one way, sugarplums. It's to say: “Yo’ DADDY!”

And then (are you ready?) came the mother of all playground comebacks: “Yo’ mama, yo’ daddy, yo’ greasy granny, got holes in her panties, got a big behind like Frankenstein, goin’ beep beep beep down Seseme Street.”

Oh yes. You have now properly been served, my friend. There IS no comeback to that. Cause “nuh-uh!” just doesn’t cut it.

I also had a lot of rhyming games we said while we were clapping, or when we were swinging jump ropes for double-dutch.

This one we used for double dutch a lot:

Cin-der-el-la
Dressed in yel-la
Went up stairs to kiss her fel-la
Made a mistake
Kissed a snake
Had to go home
With a bel-ly ache!


This is one I learned for double dutch, but me and the less coordinated girls used as a clapping game:

Met my boyfriend at the candy store
Bought me candy
Bought me cake
Brought me home with
A bel-ly ache
I said mama, mama
I’m so sick
Call the doctor
Quick quick quick
Doctor, doctor
Will I die?
Doctor, doctor
Don’t tell me no lies
1, 2, 3, 4, 5
I’m alive!


Apple sticks was my favorite clapping game. I can't tell you why. I think it was most likely because at the time it seemed risque, and I'm a perv.

Apple sticks
Make me sick
Make my heart beat
Two-forty-six
Not because I’m dirty
Not because I’m clean
Not because I kissed a boy
Behind a magazine
Heyyyy girls let’s have some fun
Here comes Johnny with his pants undone
He can wiggle, he can wobble, he can do the splits
But I betcha one thing he can’t do this…
Close your eyes and count to 10 and if you mess up
You’re a big fat hen


We used to sing this one on the walk to school all the time:

Miss Suzie had a steamboat
The steamboat had a bell
Miss Suzie went to heaven
The steamboat went to
HEL-LO operator
Give me number 9
And if you disconnect me
I will chop off your
BE-HIND the fridgerator,
There was a piece of glass
Miss Suzie sat upon it
And cut her little
ASK me no more questions
Tell me no more lies
The boys are in the bathroom
Zipping up their flies


And of course the mother of all of them, and one I still catch myself singing from time to time:

Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack
All dressed in black, black, black
With silver buttons, buttons, buttons
All down her back, back, back
She asked her mother, mother, mother
For fifty cents, cents, cents
To see the elephants, elephants, elephants
Jump the fence, fence, fence
They jumped so high, high, high
They touched the sky, sky, sky
And they didn’t come back, back, back
‘Til the fourth of ju-ly ly, ly

Typing that all up was entirely too much fun.

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