On the Phone

.... so then the end of the dream, there was this UFO, and it was hovering over the house, and it didn't take anybody, but it changed them so they all looked different, and they were like, infected with this alien virus.

That's weird.

I know, I hate my apocalypse dreams.

You and Nicole need to get together and talk about your end-of-the-world fucked up dreams.

I'm tired of having those dreams. That's two this week. Why can't I have dreams where I'm flying? Flying to Jake Gyllenhaal's house to snuggle and kiss his sweet face?

You do have those dreams, but they are locked in Jake's beard. The one he won't stop growing no matter how much I want him to.

The more I dream, the bigger his beard grows.

Exactly.

It's just like Fantasia in the Neverending Story. Only in this case Fantasia is his beard.

If only he knew he could free your dreams by shaving.

Do you think I should write him a letter?

~