Boring Prattle
This weekend I hung out with Angie for many of the hours. You guys, she has to pee like, *all* the time. We went to lunch and I finally told the waitress to please stop bringing her sweet tea. But don't look at me like that, because Angie told me to tell her. She said "You canNOT let that waitress refill my glass anymore, or I will never stop peeing." I don't know why she couldn't tell the waitress herself. I just do what she says now, I don't question. (So.. kinda like it's always been, only with more trips to the bathroom.)
On Sunday, after church, me, Angie & Misty drove to B'ham to go to a party supply store located in the ghetto. The ghettos of Roebuck, anyway. We had Abby with us, and so they did most of the picking things out, and I pushed Abby around in the cart and tried on a lot of hats. There was one plastic derby with silver tinsel hanging around the brim. I put it on Abby and then parted the tinsel like a curtain and said "Peek-a-boo!!"
I'm telling you, it was like I *invented* funny. I made a complete idiot out of myself in that store in front of other people just to get her to laugh. It's the best sound ever.
And then we went to Milo's! Everybody goes there, you know.
*******
Today I walked by Pennie's office at work, to see if she wanted in on the lunch order to Lucky Star Super Buffet.
Lucky!
Star!
Super!
Buffet!
Pennie says no, but her 15-year-old neice is in her office, and we started talking. Pennie has about 6 loaves of bread (we get it free from next door) and I was all...
Me: Got enough bread? (so funny and clever, I know.)
Pennie: Hope so.
Neice: You should freeze it.
Me: How long does bread stay in the freezer?
Pennie: I dunno.
Me: I have a loaf of bread from two months ago in my freezer.
Neice: *out of nowhere* I put Andrew (Pennie's son) in the freezer once for a few days, he thawed out okay.
Me: Did he have freezer burn?
Neice: No, he was fine.
Me: What'd you store him in?
Neice: Cellophane.
Me: I always wrap in foil, and THEN cellophane... when I'm.. freezing babies...
Pennie: See why I like working here?
Neice: *nods*
I'm telling you, I don't make these things up.
*********
LUCKY!
STAR!
SUPER!
BUFFET!
posted by Cookie @ Monday, September 18, 2006
5 Comments:
It is a pregnant woman's God-given right to pee. She is *creating life*, the least people can do is let her cut in line at the restroom or not get angry when she knocks them down on the way to the potty.
Men have Man Laws? Women have Women Laws. A pregnant woman has the right to glare, curse at, or bitch-slap any woman who does not respect the Pee Rituals in a prompt and courteous manner. Any woman who allows the cut but makes a face can be bitch-slapped as though she'd denied pee rights.
Woman Law. *grunt*
See, I always wrap the babies in the saran wrap before the foil and then freeze them.
Everybody freezes babies differently, I guess.
Laura!!!
that made me laugh so hard I wheezed
People should be nicer to pregnant women. Angie gets irritated when I try to do things for her just because she's pregnant. I told her she should milk it for all it's worth.
Of course I think half of what I do irritates Angie now, just on general principle.
But I'm okay with that.
Yeah I actually ordered a pair of baby molded tuperware dishes for my baby freezing. They work great!
Funny story...my wife got her galbladder out and now as soon as she is done eating she has to go to the potty. It's Horrendous..
I got my gallbladder out and I could tell you stories. I mean, I won't, cause I don't know you, but I *could*.
Maybe God knew I'd never have children, and He thought "Gee, Cookie will never know what it feels like to have to go to the bathroom as soon as she eats or drinks something. Hey wait! I know!" *smites gallbladder*
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