Why Vin Diesel?

In my comments below, you will see that Patti asks me a question that I get asked a lot. Which is "Why Vin Diesel?"

Look how mad he got at you, Patti!

I was all "Look, you can't hit Patti. She's my friend, AND she has a baby." You are so lucky Vin likes babies. (and I want to have his babies, and that's why we're MtB)

Baby-liking is only one of the many reasons I love Vin Diesel. I have many reasons, and only one of them is his INCREDIBLE HOTNESS. I mean really, do you have to ask why I like this man? Have you SEEN HIM?!

And how come if a guy has the hots for say, Jessica Alba, no one says "Dude, why do you like her?"

But I digress.

I think people ask me "Why Vin Diesel?" so much because maybe I just don't seem the type to have a crush on a man with such a large neck. I mean, my fan-girl crushes are more along the lines of Seth Green, Kevin Smith, and David Krumholtz. (sometimes I do go for brawn, case-in-point a Mr. Adam Baldwin. Only he's Nerd Brawn, so I'm not sure if that counts.)

My love for Vin Diesel started as kind of a joke. I thought he was totally cool in Pitch Black, and admired his Wickedly Hot Torso (WHT) in Fast & the Furious. But it wasn't love until I found out that he was a nerd. And I LOVE me some nerdy men.

I was waiting in my chiropractor's office a few years ago, and I read an article where Vin talked about playing D&D. I then told a friend that I thought this was cool... cause can you imagine what an awesome DM he'd be with that voice? And said friend told me she'd seen him on Conan one night and he had a d20 in his pocket. I suppose this was just in case Vin needed to make a Very Important Decision of some kind. Then I saw an interview myself where he was (and I say this lovingly) either high or the goofiest motherfucker on planet earth. I'm pretty sure he was just goofy. It just made me like him. Then he went and wrote the forward to this 30th Anniversary D&D book. Which is so geeky, and therefore, hot.

So he's like a geek, only he's in the best disguise I've ever seen.

I think the joking about him started out with one or two of my girlfriends, saying I was going to run away to L.A. and marry Vin Diesel. I came up with an elaborate plan where I'd stalk the Safeway by his house and trap him in the produce section. By the time security pulled me off of him, I'm sure he'd be totally charmed.

Cause I'm totally charm-ING. and stuff

Then it just became an off-hand thing I'd say, talking about Vin Diesel like he was actually going to be my husband. It was silly, and amusing (to me, anyway). He was probably the last person anyone would expect me to end up with, and so Vin Diesel just became like some weird little imaginary sidekick. Which kinda makes me sound crazy, except...

My friends started joining in on my Diesel Delusions. They'd send me clips of interviews of him on You Tube, save me magazine articles, buy me Vin Diesel movies as gifts, call me when he was on tv, send me any new Vin Diesel gossip (I know about you and "Superhead". Don't test our love, baby.), and whenever I'd talk about Vin in my silly off-hand way, they'd pretend with me. One of my friends went so far as to make a fake Vin Diesel MySpace page pretending to be Vin AND? in love with me.

So really, it's all kind of a joke. (not really, sugarpop, you know I just say that to deflect press attention)

The only thing that's real, is my deep, abiding love for him, and the fact that I'm going to wear out my Pacifier DVD slow-mo'ing his walk down the stairs to the fridge wearing only a towel.