Suicide Goats
Me: What are you doing after work?
Dana: *sigh* I gotta go to my dad's house, he's on vacation.
Me: What do you have to do there?
Dana: I gotta feed the goats, get the mail, take the trash down, and bury any dead goats.
Me: Whoa.. back up. You have to *bury any dead goats*?
Dana: Yeah, every time my dad goes out of town, a goat dies.
Me: What...?
Dana: And he loaned his tractor out, so if I bury it I have to call my uncle to come down there and dig a hole, because I am NOT burying a goat with my bare hands!
Me: Well, no... So.. why do goats die every time your dad goes out of town?
Dana: Coyotes.
Me: OHHHHHHH~
Dana: What'd you think, they missed him so bad they killed themselves?
Me: Hahahahahaha, yeah..
Dana: Like they're all "I can't TAKE IT anymore" and putting a gun to their head?
Me: Yeah, and the other goats are trying to talk him down, all "No! No, he'll be back, he's just on vacation!"
Dana: I walk up, there is a goat there with pills beside him.
Me: What.. wait.. is this a DAGGER? I think this goat stabbed himself in the heart!
Us: *heehee hahaha heehee hahaha*
And then the conversation dissolved into how casually she talked about burying goats, like it was something people just DID from time to time. We wondered if (since we live in the South, home of ridiculous phrases) if we could pull off saying stuff like "Well, I gotta get outta here, I got goats to bury." or "Like my daddy always says: Sometimes you just gotta bury your goats with your bare hands."
I'm thinking that could totally work.
posted by Cookie @ Wednesday, April 18, 2007
3 Comments:
Cookie - you know the most interesting people! None of my friends ever talk about having to go bury dead goats (maybe because I live in B'ham?) I'm glad I know you, cause at least I can laugh at your interesting stories! Suicidal goats, Easter pirates...what else?
I know some of the most interesting people, for sure. And the funniest.
And I'm easily amused, so they can say one little thing, I ask questions, and wah-lah!
You're one to talk about interesting conversations, considering your husband just tells you to stick your tongue in it....
Well, you might be right about that! Did you know he told me that he thinks I have 2 gerbils in my head, running on wheels to keep my brain going? The rational one keeps falling off the wheel, though!
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