Down With the Sickness

I had the worst stomach flu of all time, ever.

I hope you don't get it. If you do, you can call me, and I will bring you gingerale and magazines. I promise.

Unless you are a crazy internet stalker, or you live really far. And then you're just on your own. I'm sorry to say.

When I was lying in bed, praying for God to kill me and get it over with, I got the idea to call work and ask Jenny if she had anything to help me stop throwing up. She didn't. But, she found someone that did. She picked it up for me, then went to the store, bought me soup, crackers, gingerale, 7up, Pepsi (cause she remembered I like Pepsi better than Coke), and about 6 or 7 magazines.

One day, the Utopia Job angels will stop smiling on me, and my bosses will run into my office, and force me to leave. They will tell me The Truth Has Been Found Out! And that I'm Not All That Great.

Until then, I will rest in the knowledge that Jenny is the best boss you could ever ask for. And while I was out sick, people worried, and they called me to make sure I was okay. Dana stayed late to get everything done, and never made me feel guilty about it even once.

Angie was so worried that people at my work were treating me better than she was. She brought me Immodium AD. And a Coke, in case I got tired of Pepsi. And an US Weekly.

Suzie brought me Sprite and Gatorade, and balked at how terrible I looked and offered to stay with me.. even though that would have sucked so bad, and she'd have gotten sick.

Jaimie called and checked on me, but I did not need anything. Because my house wouldn't fit anymore 2 liters inside. Nor magazines.

My internet friends emailed me asking if I was okay.

I got well wishes on MySpace.

I think, perhaps, I can stop worrying that I will die alone in my house and they won't find me for days, and some stray cat will have eaten half my face off.

This is a comforting thought.