The One About My Period

Today, I have cramps.

You guys. They are so bad.

I tried walking around some but it wasn't helping, so I thought I'd curl up in the fetal and watch a movie. I padded around the house, making a whining noise, looking through all my movies. I heard myself judging everything out loud and realized how I sounded at one point and if I hadn't been ready to kill someone I might have even laughed. (Right now, I am holding back the urge to take my keyboard apart key by key to clean it and then in the end end up smashing it to pieces when I couldn't remember where the Print Screen key goes.)

Something's Gotta Give - one of my favorite movies, maybe of all time. But it got the pass because it has "too many boys" in it.

Talledega Nights - too many boys. too many cars.

40-Year-Old Virgin - Too many boys that might have the nerve to try to make me laugh. But that scene where Steve Carrell gets thrown up on in the car might be okay

Waiting... - Ugh, NO.

Wedding Crashers - Fucking Owen Wilson. Bastard.

Harry Potter - NO. Idiot.

Love Actually - Mayyybe.. but no.. too British. They'd suffer in silence.

Last Holiday - No. Queen Latifa is too brave.

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days - Matthew McConaughey is so GAY and STUPID.

Cruel Intentions - Well.. he does die at the end....

Sweet Home Alabama - Too Reese Witherspoon-y.

Fast & The Furious - Vin, I'm just mad at you right now.

The Pacifier - I need space, Vin.

Chronicles of Riddick - I SAID

Knockaround Guys - I NEED SOME SPACE. ooo Seth Green, though..

In the end, Mirror Has Two Faces won out. I thought Barbara would put her arm around me, and let me kvetch. Then she'd.. buy me some strudel or something.

Mmmm.. strudel...

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Why I Am Mad At Vin: A Series of Text Messages

Has anyone ever actually died of menstrual cramps?

Unfortunately, no.

I think I might. Goodbye, cruel world!

Does this mean I can have Vin?

At least wait until the body's cold, bitch!

HAHAHAHA

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You know he'd go for it, too. I'd barely be cool to the touch, and he'd already be all "someone comfort me, someone care about MY feelings".

Doesn't he know it's all about ME even though I'm dead! I'm the leading lady of this story, by God!

(Just kidding, Barbara. It's still really you.)

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I don't want to hear any sarcastic comments about how angry this blog is. Seth.

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