Rhamones, Chaksters, and Veektor, Mang

Wednesday was Halloween, and this year was completely tragic because I was sick. So sick that I had to leave a really fun party. A party where a kid showed up dressed as a punk rocker wearing a Ramones t-shirt and carrying a play guitar. I swear his feet barely hit the sidewalk before I was pointing at him like an excited 4-year-old and screaming "Ramones! The Ramones!! He has a Ramones t-shirt!" The kid was way awesome, too. He didn't even carry a bag. HE DID NOT CARRY A BAG TRICK OR TREATING. He was like "I just have my guitar."

Chris's friend Jim said, "Bags are for squares. I used my bag of candy to get my guitar out of pawn." Only you had to hear him say it, because it was funnier, and all week I've been walking around the office saying "Bags are for squares". Randomly, and with great feeling.

I also sang Lyla her very first Ramones song tonight at Angie's house. She was totally into it. I think she actually knew what Gabba Gabba Hey means.

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So I've been seeing those Oreo Cakesters at the grocery store. I ignored them. I said to them "I see you, but I'm not interested." and those Cakesters were all "I know you see me, and you want me." and I was like "Okay maybe I do, but I will NOT buy you." and they were like "What if we're at the checkout counter in single packs? We can't be all that bad in the single pack, right?" and I was still like "No means no, Cakester. Take back the night!"

Then I went to the store while I was sick, and it felt my weakness. They said to me "What about today?" and I said "We've been through this." and they were like "Come on, you can take us to girl's night. Or work. You don't have to keep us at home. That way it's like you're sharing" and I was like "I do have girl's night tonight.. and I DO have a job... " and they said "See? Come on, baby. You know you want to, we aren't that bad."

I bought them. I kept hoping they weren't that good after all.

My hopes were dashed against the rocks. Only in this case my boat was made of peanut brittle and riding on a sea of mt. dew, and it crashed against the rock candy shores of my very soul.

Okay well maybe not my soul, but wasn't that totally poetic of me?

Mmmm... Mt. Dew.

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I helped a man the other day over the phone. His name is Victor, and he's 43, and has a very thick cuban accent. It's like watching Scarface, and I'm not even kidding a little bit. He seemed to really like me, maybe a little too much, but that's okay. I mean, I'm awesome and stuff. Who can blame him?

I had to call him back today, and I knew it was going to be rough because I had to give him a lot of information. But his voicemails were SO funny that I wish I could find a way to put them on my blog. I sent him this questionnaire thing, and when he called back he left this long voicemail, and at the end he said "I got the poll, I give it to you." and Dana heard it as "I got the pole, I give it to you" which has an ENTIRELY different meaning. It was her new catchphrase.

His next voicemail was very short, and he just said "Cookie, I know you very busy, but I need you." (it sounded like "I nee you" and it was so cute I could die) and after the whole pole thing it seemed hilarious. Daphne made up a song, and all day we walked around singing

I got the pole!
I give it to you!
I know you busy but
I NEE YOU!

Also, I'm pretty sure Victor is quite the ladies man. He told me he'd "been thinking 'bout me ev-e-ry-day" and that "I am so nice" and "I sure have nice voice" and "Al-e-a-bah-ma, how far that away from Missouh-ree?" (Why, Victor! You cad!)

But how can you not love it?

I nee you.

It's just what every woman wants to hear.

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