How I Spend All My Time Now

I have a new thing that I'd like to share with you. It's called "The Jewelry Channel". Leslie tried to make me watch it and I did not get why it was so wonderful and amazing at first. Oh... BUT THEN..

There are parcels. PARCELS. That is really just a big pile of random gemstones that they send you in a ziploc bag. How do I know it's a ziploc bag? Because Leslie called and asked. Am I getting ahead of myself? I think I am.

The first night I fell in love with the Jewelry Channel was this fabulous woman who speaks directly from her diaphragm (does not pass lungs, does not collect $200) and sounds like she's forcing the words out when she runs out of breath at the end of her sentences.

"This ring is just beautiful. Look at the detail on this. This is just gorgeous. All you ladies out there looking for an heirloom piece, well, this is it. This is a gorgeous ring and just look at the blue in THAT TANZANITE"

It was so hilarious to me.

So, I started watching it more often. Nothing on? The Jewelry Channel is ALWAYS ON. And I have 4 channels of it. DEDICATED TO SHINY THINGS. My life is now complete.

There are so many things I love about the Jewelry Channel that I don't think I can list them all in one blog. One of my favorite things is how in love they are with Tanzanite. You guys? Tanzanite is the SHIT on the Jewelry Channel. Just watch:




Did you see that? Did you see how you learn so much from the Jewelry Channel?

The Jewelry Channel has these great commercials. I call them "movie trailers" because they are so dramatic. There is one for emeralds that I just can't find online, but here is another example:



Does that not remind you of the Titanic trailer? My heart will go on. It WILL.

This is just an example of something they might sell.




I love when there are two of them like that, because it's way more fun when they get excited about something. "OH MY WORD!"

And I dearly love when they repeat what the other one says.

"This would be good for Valentine's Day"
"~Valentine's Day~"

I'm telling you, I'm already gonna be jotting down rules for a drinking game involving the Jewelry Channel. (and if that doesn't just SCREAM "Girl's Night" to you....) They love to mention where the gems come from. It's not just an amethyst. It's an AFRICAN amethyst. Oh yes. That shit is NOT from Bolivia, okay? It's from fucking Africa and you'd better believe that makes it special.

Should I mention? That Leslie calls the Jewelry Channel reps and talks to them? And that it is the funniest thing you will ever hear in your life? She even got to the shipping department when she found out that they did not ship them in velvet bags so she could feel like she was getting a pirate treasure. David in Shipping was not as concerned as we were about the velvet drawstring bags, I will have you know.

Now if you'll excuse me, there is a Brazilian peridot and white topaz ring that is calling to me.

~