Daddy Issues

Today is Father's Day. As usual, my sister and I got together with my father today to share a meal and give him gifts, like Hallmark wanted. Yesterday my sister and I went to the mall and I got a book and a dvd for my dad. (For myself, I bought a Edgar Allen Poe bobblehead. Yeah! I know!) The book I got was "Gangsters and Goodfellas: Wiseguys, Witness Protection, and Life on the Run" by Henry Hill. The movie I got him was "The Godfather". I'll probably end up borrowing both, especially that book as Goodfellas is my favorite movie and I always wondered what happened to ol' Henry after he joined witness protection. I wrapped both gifts in pink Barbie wrapping paper, because I always try to wrap my dad's presents in the most ridiculous paper that I can find. There is just something about watching my father peel away Barbie paper to find his Mafia-themed gifts. I am my father's daughter.

That's actually what the card I said gave to him. And on the inside it said "And I am glad. Happy Father's Day". I always get the simplest cards. Standing in front of a row of Father's Day cards is always enough to make me sweat. The girl beside me was reading cards and sniffling with emotion. I was picking only the funny cards, and they were all so lame. They focus on golf, tennis, barbequeing and laying around the house. Now, I have seen my father nap, I ain't gonna lie, but these cards.. well they just don't say anything about what my dad is like. (He is a sorta-hippie, and he's got the sandles and the mystic love of nature to prove it.) And the mushy ones? "Oh you were always there for me, boo-hoo-hoo" Um, no. I "pishaw" those cards under my breathe and usually mutter "yeah, right". So, it got me to thinking.. what would I say to my father if I could....and I'm just gonna leave out the bad parts. Hey, it's father's day. I'll bring out the list of sins for Thanksgiving dinner, like every other family.

Dad,

You are not like most dads, and while it took me a while to figure it out, I have to say, I am glad. You helped me discover classic rock. Pink Floyd, The Beatles, Bob Dylan, The Doors, Eric Clapton, The Who, Janis Joplin, Rolling Stones .. it's countless. I thank you. You sat cross-legged with me in the living room floor and you didn't read me stories, you read me lyrics. I was the only 7-year-old girl that knew what the lyrics of Sympathy for the Devil were really about.

You taught me not to trust the government or anyone over the age of 30. You taught me about the mafia and secret societies. You told me ghost stories that made me lie awake shivering under the blankets. When I got scared, you pretended to kick my list of imaginary monsters out of my room. (kick out the vampire! daddy, you forgot the werewolf under my bed!) When I asked questions like "Where does chocolate come from?" I didn't get an ordinary answer. I got a fantastical answer that involved a mountain range in Georgia, a lost trail in the woods, a magic rabbit that could see into the heart of children, and a secret underground factory run by elves, rivers of chocolate, and trees that grew Snickers bars.

You let me sit in your lap so we could make up stories together. Ancient and wise Jackalopes named Elijah, and his smart and spunky granddaughter named Penelope. Witches and vampires and werewolves. You didn't recycle the same stories that you'd told Suzie, but you made us each our own. You told me I could tell you anything, and I almost always did. In fact, I remember the first time I lied to you, and I think in my adult life I've felt that badly only once more. You were my pal, dad.

It got shaky for a while, but now I'm glad that we're getting back in rhythm. You make me laugh. When I saw that card "I am my father's daughter" at first I felt negatively about it. And then I started to think about the things I love about you that you've passed on to me. Things you have shown me, things you introduced me to, and things that I am good at because of you. Here it is dad, your legacy.

A love of the arts
Snickers bars
Hot Dr. Pepper in the wintertime
Fresh picked berries
Camping, creekbeds and crawdads
Baseball
The mother-fucking Rolling Stones, YEAAAHHHH!
How to be charming
The wisdom that yes, in fact, no one in Gadsden can drive
How to save money on my power bill
Roller coasters
Little Big Man and The Duel
Horror movies.. oh dad.. Vampires, werewolves, b-movies and EVIL DEAD 2!? Thank you! (this also involves my two greatest fears.. zombies and werewolves, but I forgive you dad.)
Love of animals, espeically dogs, cats, and sharks
Love of the universe and nature
Never losing your sense of child-like wonder
Storytelling
Confidence that I *will* make it through
S-m-r-t's
Magic
That if I'm gonna eat that sugary cereal I might as well be eating a candy bar

My father is the only person I know that I could go to and tell him that a man hurt my feelings and he'd try to have him beat up for me. No charge. I could go to him on the day that zombies took over the planet (just a matter of time. there is a sorority house next to a graveyard in Jacksonville. It's just.. BEGGING.. for it) and he would totally believe me and give me gun and ammo. If I was on Who Wants to be a Millionaire and I needed to know the answer to a baseball question.. I'd call my dad. Have too much food that's just gonna spoil if someone doesn't eat it? Dad! Need someone to help you prove that conspiracy theory? Dad. Missing a smartass around the house? My dad will be there in 20 minutes or less or your money back. He carries no bills larger than a $20, so don't rob him. Need someone to tell you just HOW bad fast food is for you and that it'll kill you, and that the paper bag at McDonald's is better for you than the food inside? Call my dad.

Need a superhero that screws it up most of the time, but keeps trying anyway and does the best job that he can do? That's my pops. You've done good, dad. I appreciate it.

I love you,
~Melanie