My cell phone

I got one of those cell phones that you pay as you go. I don't really plan on using it unless I really need to, or in case of emergency. And lately I'm not doing well with commitment (hardy har) so I didn't want to enroll in a plan. So I head off to WalMart and finally decide on a Virgin Mobile phone. Fairly inexpensive, text, voicemail, etc. etc. I am happy, yaaay!

I go home and I plug it into this extension cord that makes one plug into three so that I can more successfully short out the electrical system to my house and burn it to the ground. I'm all excited, the next morning. I'll take it to work, I think, and it will give me something to do. Well it wasn't charged, and I noticed I'd left it on all night. I figure I can't charge it with it being on, maybe, so I turn it off and leave it charging while I'm at work.

I make Sonya drop by my house on the way back to work and grab the phone, which still isn't charged. I got back to work, and I call Virgin Mobile. I get a young guy on the phone and we end up talking forever and he's telling me ALL ABOUT how this one time (at bandcamp) his phone wouldn't charge, and how he felt about it, and what he did, and how it didn't work but that I could try it and maybe it would work and gee he sure hoped so... I finally hung up with him and followed his directions. I took the battery out for 15-20 minutes, put it back in, and plugged it back into the charger.

I went to Angie's and hung out and in the morning I checked my phone for a charge. Nothing. I went to work, and my lovely employers decided to buy pizza for us for lunch. I ate lunch but still had about 40 minutes to kill so I took my phone and charger to WalMart to return it. I stood in line at the customer service desk, got my money back, and headed back into the it's-lunch-time-and-I'm-in-a-hurry throng of Super WalMart.

Which is evil, evil to the core, that store is, but I won't go into it today.

I went back to the area I bought the phone and I'm looking and wondering if maybe I should get a different phone cause the one I had was "okay" but it wasn't pretty (or witty or gay). So I ask the woman working what are the differences and she didn't know. Of course she didn't know, I mean, it's not like she works there, right? I mention wanting a small phone that flips open. And this isn't for any reason other than I really just want a little flip-py phone that looks cool and is fun to play with. I won't pretend I have a less shallow reason, because I don't. She tells me that they DO have the "Vox" phones but they are out of stock and do I want to wait or order one? I tell her no, thanks, I'll look online.

I head back to work and I order the phone I want for a buck and change more than what WalMart charges for it with free overnight shipping. Guaranteed to ship if you get your order in by 3pm pacific time. It's 2pm central, so I'm like "Perfect, I'll get it tomorrow!"

Did I? No. The next day was Friday and in the afternoon after I'd made Sonya drive by my house AGAIN to check on the phone, I tracked it. My order was just being processed. On Saturday I tracked it again and found it was in Indiana, and I would be getting it Monday. By now, I'm anxious. I just wanted my new toy! Damn it! (you know I'm just gonna throw it aside and play in the box it comes in, right?)

Monday I ask Sonya (again) to drive past my house on the way back to work and there is no box. *le sigh* I go back to work, defeated and bored. There is nothing to play with, and work is dead right now. I went to the grocery store after work and when I got home my 2 cats were screaming at me and winding under my feet (for no reason, of course) while I tried to get the groceries inside. And then I see the door tag. FUCK! I grab it and see what time they close, which is not long enough for me to get across town, and I don't even know if it'd be there. It has a note at the bottom that says I have to be present to sign. There is a little sticker where I could sign and he could pull that the next day and leave it.... but he's pulled the sticker off so I can't do that. DAMN IT! I drag the groceries in, put them away, and go online to check out my options.

My option was to call FedEx. I do, and about the third time through the menu options I start swearing like a sailor because they don't have my option, damnit! Where is the option to get my pretty phone?! Huh? I finally press "0" (angrily) and I get an operator. She comes on the line all relaxed and even though I was hot and in a bad mood I knew it wasn't *her* fault. I tried to be as polite as I could, and she said they would hold it for me. Okay, good. Thank you, FedEx lady.

The next day after work I bear through RBC traffic to get to the Fed Ex location. I get there with my doortag go inside... and .. they had it YAAAAAAY! I was so excited. I drove home and cut down South 11th just so I wouldn't have the nightmare of RB drive again. Ugh. On the way home there were these GIANT potholes that someone just threw gravel in like that'll fix it. What is up, S. 11th? Are you trying to kill us and maim our cars?

But over the bridge and through the woods, I was home. I unpack my phone and as I begin to plug it into the extension, I have this thought. "I wonder if the extension cord is even plugged into the wall at all. Maybe Alex unplugged it some time ago and I just didn't notice. That would account for why my phone didn't charge"

I checked.

It wasn't plugged up to the wall.

I'm a dumbass.

But I have a pretty phone.