Company Meeting

We just had a company meeting about the holidays. I don't know whether to be depressed or excited. This is gonna be my first Christmas as a single gal. I'm trying to stare the fear in the face and give it the SuFi. So, these are the thoughts I cheered myself up with when I thought of a Christmas alone.

1. My family is totally gonna baby me this year cause now I'm alone. I bet I can milk it. Awesome! Commence practice of the lip tremble NOW!
2. No one will tell me to PLEASE turn the Martha Stewart off. (No. I will NOT.)
3. I can put my tree up WHENEVER I want to. So there!
4. No cats to climb the Christmas tree and break my favorite ornaments.
5. I can use the money I would spend on gifts for a significant other and take a kid's name off the Angel tree and hook them up Santa style.
6. In true Fleegan fashion, there is no number 6.
7. Christmas Porn! (I just had to throw that in somewhere)
8. Three words: Mistletoe. Gold's Gym.
9. Three more words: Weed. Gingerbread House.

and the #10 reason Single Christmas rocks?

10. Knitting a sweater for a vibrator is much simpler.