Well hel-lo my name is Si-mon, and I like to do draw-rings

My draw-ring class is amazing. There are only eight of us. I'm having more fun in Drawing II than I thought I would. My classmates are so talented, smart, and funny. I dig them. It's.. so.. HARD, though. I'm taking a drawing that is 1"x1" and making it into a 22"x30". All I can see is what is wrong with it, because that's my way. I mean, I'm starting to become a little proud of it, but now I'm scared I'm going to screw it up. Alex sits next to me, and hands-down, his is the best in the class. Why can't I sit next to someone that sucks? Huh?

After having two classes with him, I have begun to really appreciate my professor this semester. Seeing my drawing start to take form last night into something that resembled.. art.. well, it was therapy. There has been something I've had a hard time letting go of, and last night after class, I had a moment.

I was feeling hopeful about my project. My ex-husband had given me a much-needed hug. My classmates had complimented me on my work when I honestly felt like nothing I had done was good. My professor was encouraging me. We were all kinda standing around teasing and laughing with each other. It wasn't until I walked out to the car and put my drawing in the backseat that I saw what my classmates were saying. It was kinda good. I had worked through my fear of drawing, put pencil to paper, and with work and help and time... I'd made something pretty.

So, maybe it wasn't a life changer. But it helped me let go of something I was grasping on to so tightly. That even amongst the pain of losing people and things you love, making bad decisions, trying to numb the pain and realizing you can't... through all the bad this last year has been .. good things can still happen. And often, when you least expect it. So I don't know... maybe instead of waiting for 2006 to get here, I'll see what I can do to make the rest of this year something kinda good.

Wow, I'm lame. Hee!