Are We There Yet?

When is this year going to be over, already? It's not like I haven't learned valuable life lessons this year, I have a fantastic job, and a great family, and my friends rock on a level I cannot even discuss with you. Wait, why am I bitching again?

Oh yeah, men. I blame them for the craptacular emotional breakdowns I had this year. Please, let 2006 not come with any of the dear-god-I'm-crying-so-hard-I'm-going-to-wreck-my-car moments. I'd also like to do without "I'm going to die ALONE!" and the ever-popular "No one will ever love me again!". I'd also request that I don't have moments where I look at some random man in line next to me, narrow my eyes, and think "You fucking lying bastard." and then take down the entire retail store with my wrath and vengence.

But that's just me!

So last Thursday I had a conversation with a woman I don't know from Adam. We spent 45 minutes on the phone talking about her dying mother, divorce, and (once more, with venom) men. I'd been talking to her on and off about a property I was working on, and one thing led to another, and we were in bed smoking cigarettes, and I was wondering if I was gay. Kiddding. But she was one of those cool, spiritual, older black women that I want to be like when I grow up. Except I'll be white, but that is something I can't help, so don't judge me. Racist!

What was my point? Oh yes. She told me that she hasn't known me for very long, but she can't imagine why anyone would divorce me (hee) and that "he must've been crazy". I really wanted to go along with that and go "Yeah, God what a BASTARD, pity me more!" but I couldn't do that to Al. I told her we were just too young and the fault was in both of us, but a lot of it was with me. Then I told her someone else broke my heart, too. She said "Your heart was already so tender, baby, it wasn't too hard to break."

Baby Jesus! I never thought of it that way. Possibly a person I loathe didn't hurt me because he was some gigantic asshole. Maybe he was just a regular asshole and I was already hurt. Maybe he was just what he was.. a rebound. A lying, cold, bastard of a rebound. Okay, maybe I'm not healed just yet, sue me.

Then she said some things about how God was the keeper of her heart, and it took her so long to realize that. She said she doesn't worry about getting her heart broken anymore, because she knows that God is keeping it safe, and that anything that happens, she knows she can get through.

And then I said some things to make her feel better about her mom. I'd rather not recount it, because it's so personal, but needless to say.. it was obvious I was meant to meet this person. Not just for me, but for her, too. I'm pretty sure I got more out of it than she did.

The best news is, I talked to her this morning, and her mom is stable. She said her gift on Christmas Day was her mom's irritated expression as some nurses stood over her doing a procedure. She said "I was so happy, I told them "There's fight left in the old lady!""

Yeah, I think that about sums it up just right.

Conversation of the Week

Me: I'm gonna write a book about how to be more like me.
Sonya: Oh yeah? What are you gonna call it?
Me: "How To Be Like Me" Subtitle: "You Know You Wanna"
Sonya: That sounds pretty good.
Me: I think so.
Sonya: What will you call the sequel?
Me: "You're Not Doing it Right"