Grumpy Pants

I've got the most wicked case of PMS, which is good news because I guess that means I'm not pregnant with Vin's baby. It also means that I've cried over the most ridiculous things imaginable. Then I get really angry. I don't like getting angry, it's un-Cookie-like of me.

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If I get one more email trying to get me to sign up to get a damn date I'm gonna hurt the internet with the force of my rage. I wish I could reply back and say "You know, I'm just FINE not havin to ask nodamnbody what the hell they wanna do for dinner!" How do they know I'm single anyway?! Bastards.

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This man called today and asked if "somebody could call him back and tell him what the cat-hair was goin on". Celeste and I can't stop using our newest phrase.

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Misty told me she watched Joel Osteen the other night and he was saying that if you speak it, you make it real .. or whatever. She said he said you should walk around saying "Everybody likes me." Joel also said he helped a woman quit smoking. He told her to start telling herself she hated nicotine and cigarettes were nasty. This should be easy since every Joe Blow that walks by if you're smoking outside tells you that. (OR! The best: "Those things are gonna kill you." Naw! For real? Well I'm gonna kill YOU if you don't keep on walkin. Mr... Talkypants...)

So now Misty and I will randomly look at our cigarettes and go "I hate smoking." Last night during our break I told her I loved math and hated smoking. I'm gonna see if this works. I'm gonna be a millionaire! And famous! And marry Vin Diesel after 2 months of making him beg for the honor of being my husband! I hate to smoke! I love math!

I think that's all the boring crap I'll regale you with today.