Chlamydia: It's Not a Flower

I went to Doc in a Box today about a bladder infection. My first one ever, yay! Surely everyone who reads my blog (all 3 of you) wants to know!

Don't you hate when you go to the doctor and they ask you those series of questions about being pregnant and/or having an STD and even though you *know* you're in the clear you still start to question yourself? Why don't they do that with any other symptoms?

Hmm, your symptoms are classic to a urinary tract infection.. but.. are you sexually active?
Not really.
Not really?
Uhm, sometimes I think about it.
I see. Are you married?
No...
Do you think about sex with more than one partner?
Well, yeah.. I mean, sometimes...
How many partners do you think about having sex with?
I dunno.. uh.. maybe.. 5?
Do you think THOSE partners think about having sex with other people and not just you?
I'm sure it's a possibility.
I see.
I just need to pee a lot, I don't think that thinking about se-
Are you pregnant?
Can you get pregnant thinking about sex?!
We can't rule it out.
Oh GOD!!
Who would most likely be the father?
I ... I dunno.. I.. oh god.. maybe Vin Diesel?
You need to make a list.
A *list*??!!
We'll contact all those men and tell them you think about having sex with them.
But.. I just.. have to pee..
Ma'am, this is very serious. Vin Diesel has been rumored to be bi-sexual.
Oh god I've got an STD and I've given it to my unborn child!!
Probably not. I think it's a urinary tract infection. I just like to cover all the bases.
I'm DYING, who will take care of my BABY!?!?!