Witches of East.. Gadsden..

Angie recently quit her job at a convenient store/truck stop to take care of her ailing father-in-law. Though it's not a sacrifice to quit that job because she hated it, I still just want to note I think she's a great person. Also, she makes me laugh. So, here's the set-up. We're in her kitchen and she's cooking, and I'm sitting in the computer chair. (you know, not helping)


Angie: You know my last day was Wednesday, right? Man it was the greatest day. I've been waitin for weeks to tell some of these people off, and I did it!

Me: Duuuuude, tell me. *rolls to counter*

Angie: Okay, you know Hilda at work?

Me: Is she the stupid one?

Angie: No.

Me: The gay one?

Angie: There's more than one, but yeah sort of. She's the witch.

Me: Ohhhh yeah the wicca chick! *dj scramble of wicca-wicca-wicca on my imaginary turntable*

Angie: Yeah! Okay so she's wearing this necklace and Gertrude asks her what it means and Hilda is all "It means something that's my business."

Me: Ooo, snarky.

Angie: Yeah, but she eventually tells her "It means that I'm a witch." and Gertrude is like this big christian or whatever.

Me: She didn't get all weird about it did she?

Angie: No! So like after a while Gertrude calls Hilda to the back and wants to talk to her about some stuff. Cause Hilda has told her that she can sense things. She's all "I can *sense* things about people, and things" You know, all dramatic and whatever.

Me: Oh yeah totally, I sense stuff all the time. Like BULLSHIT!

Angie: Exxxactly! So I'm like "Y'all go on, but don't be tryin to sense anything about me. *Sense* that I don't like that shit.

Me: *laughs my ass off for many of the minutes* Oh my GOD you are the funniest person I know! Sense that I don't like that. You fuckin *kill* me...

Angie: *still totally straight-faced* So, no shit, I had this candle lit to get rid of the smell of cigarette and cigar smoke, it's this white candle.. and they come get it and take it back there.

Me: Oh shit...

Angie: Yeah. She's like all metaphysical going "Just give me a minute. Let's cleanse the room, let me get my center..."

Me: *snort*

Angie: So she tells her that something happened to her when she was a child and she hopes that doesn't happen to her daughter.

Me: Um, isn't that like, every mother?

Angie: Yes! That's what I was thinking. Every mom looks back and hopes her daugher doesn't have to go through what she did, or have to make the same mistakes.

Me: So then what else?

Angie: She told her there is a man in her life that she's afraid of.

Me: Oooo.. sense-y....

Angie: Any woman, especially that works in a gas station and has an ex.. PROBABLY has reason to be scared of him.

Me: True.

Angie: So THEN she tells her that there is this man she sees when she drives home at night, and he's always walking. When she sees him she's scared. Sometimes she thinks about picking him up to be nice, but she never does because she's too scared.

Me: I'm in awe of her power.

Angie: She tells him not to pick this man up. Because he's a Warlock.

Me: Ohhhh fuck me. Can I blog this?

Angie: Yes! Okay so he's a Warlock, and he's been watching her.. he's interested in her, so she shouldn't pick him up.

Me: So he's an *evil* Warlock? Coooool..

Angie: Yeah, like this is an episode of fucking Charmed. She also said there is a woman that watches her. That she stalks her but Gertrude doesn't know it, and she can't tell she's being watched.

Me: Oh, you have a stalker.. that you never see and doesn't bother you at all...

Angie: I know! Can you believe that shit about the Warlock, though?

Me: I know!! In Gadsden? What the fuck kinda half-assed Warlock would you have to be to get stuck in fucking Gadsden?

Angie: *laughing* I was like "Do you KNOW where you are? It's not like we don't believe you, it's just that we'd never be that lucky!"

So about 10 minutes later we're talking about something else that is dumb and all you have to know is, it ended with:

Angie: I KNEW IT!!

Me: What are you, a fucking Warlock now?

(names were changed to protect, well, me)