I Told You We Should See What's On Discovery, But Nooo~

While watching Spike TV, "Greatest Police Busts Caught on Tape" we saw a woman who'd been (allegedly) beaten by her husband for years hire a hitman (and undercover cop) to kill him. She got 18 years in prison for solicitation of murder.

Angie: So, she gets beaten for years, and has to serve 18 years in prison because she wants him dead?

Dewayne: Nooo... she gets 18 years in prison because she PAID someone to KILL him.

Me: Didn't get her money's worth.

A: That doesn't seem fair.

D: What do you mean, it's not fair? Now, if she would've paid someone to beat his ass, that would've been more fair, but she wanted him dead.

A: If it was between me and you, it'd be you.

D: What?

Me: She's saying if one of you had to die, it wouldn't be her, sir.

D: Why do you women have to go around killing people? Women who get beat can always leave, can't they?

Me: No, no no.. a lot of them are too scared to leave.

D: Awww, hell...

A: I'd leave your ass if you beat me. I'm not scared of you.

D: You should be! If you tried to leave me, I'd kill you!

A: Did you hear that, Cookie? Did you hear the threat on my life?

Me: *nod*

A: I just want it known that if my body comes popping up in the river somewhere, HE DID IT.

D: I wouldn't put you in the river. I'd bury you in the woods with lime.

Me: Why lime?

D: It decomposes the body faster, bones and all.

Me: Cool...

A: See, he's already planning it. Do you have the grave dug yet?

D: You'd kill me before I could kill you.

A: Damn right.

D: Cookie, did you hear that? You heard her threaten me, right?

Me: Why I gotta be y'alls witnesses?

D: You'd help her! Women stick together. You'd help her drag my body.

Me: Well, now that we know about that lime thing.

D: I wish we hadn't watched this.

Me: You're the one that wanted to watch Spike TV.

D: You've got a point.

Me: This is the network for MEN. And it's giving us ideas.

D: I'm writing a damn letter.

~