Mixed Tape

I just had a conversation with a co-worker, where we discussed mixed tapes.

You guys! Remember mixed tapes? How long they took. How you'd totally sweat over the songs on them, and what they meant? And if you got one, you'd listen to it, wondering if the lyrics were some sort of secret code to how the mixer felt about you? I asked aforementioned co-worker how long it'd been since she got a mixed tape.

Cause I totally remember mine.

I was about 19 or 20 years old, working at the bookstore, and he was my manager. (Jr. Asst. Mgr, in fact) His name was Iain. With two i's. He was a spry type of fella with red hair, who wore one of those tall russian fur hats (in Gadsden!) when it got cold. How very.

We'd often get into trouble because we passed so much time up at the register talking, when he should have been working. He was born in England, and raised there while he was a small child. I just remember all the things he liked seeming so exotic. Sometimes we would debate for what seemed like (and probably was) hours at a time. He got upset with me once and told me I was far too intelligent to believe in God. (I thought he was far too intelligent NOT to believe in God.)

He loved beer. Man, did he love beer. He had this pen-pal, the old fashioned kind.... I think she was German? Anyway, she used to mail him labels from beer bottles from all over Europe. He said when I turned 21, he wanted to buy me my first beer. Of course, I had a stick up my ass at the time, and was all "Beer will make you possessed by the devil!" or something moronic like that. (I was young, okay?)

One night I brought up The Ramones. One of my favorite actors at the time loved the Ramones, and I'd totally wanted to look into that. I mentioned it to Iain, and he asked me if I'd heard such & such song by them. I said no, I'd never heard anything by them. Then he starts going on and on about these different bands that I'd never heard of before. He said "I bet if I made you a mixed tape, you'd like it." and I replied with the 1997'ish version of "Whatever."

The next day, he came into work, and as he walked by the counter, slid a mixed tape across to me. Not ONLY had he made me a mixed tape packed full of music.... a lot of it was punk music. This now makes me swoon, though at the time I had no idea I'd end up liking it so much. The best part was that he'd fashioned me a cover for the tape out of an old comic book. It was a wizard. I thanked him and slid it into my little Bookland apron pocket, stealing glances at it when no one was looking. He casually showed up at the front later, going over the bands with me.

I told him that he made it for me awful fast, and it must've taken him a long time. He pooh-pooh'd me, and told me he'd just done it while he was on the phone with a friend of his. No big deal. Not like he was thinking of me specifically or anything. Just on the phone. Happened to be beside his stereo. A blank tape fell into his lap. He was totally gonna throw that comic book away anyway.

Sadly, I believed this. I suffer from this terrible blindness when it comes to guys.

A few weeks later, he made me another mixed tape. I think I'd listened to the first one about a hundred times. (but of course acted like I'd just kinda skimmed it) I don't remember anything about the songs on either tape, only that they contained a few songs from the Ramones, one of which was Spiderman. I cannot hear that song without thinking of Iain and the Great Wizard Mixed Tape. The second tape he made me was a little more complex for a girl who thought Nirvana was totally underground. (pause for laughter)

There was this girl who worked at the music store, I think her name was Misty or Megan or something like that. Anyway, she was TOTALLY after Iain. I used to buzz him in the back when she came in, and sing-song ~your girlfriend is here~, and he'd buzz me back, "Tell me when she's gone."

I? Of course would find the girl and say "Iain's in the back. You can just go back there and knock, it's cool." and when I saw the back door open, I'd stand up there grinning like a cheshire cat. Eventually she'd walk up to the front looking enraptured, and not long after Iain would follow, clomping up the step to the register with these heavy combat looking shoes he wore, trying oh-so-hard to glare at me.

Hee~

Angie was sure that he had a thing for me. One night he said Megan/Misty wanted him to go out for a beer after work. He didn't want to go, so he told her he had to drive me home. (My car was actually broken down at the time.) After we closed, this happened:

Iain: I can take you home after work if you want, though.
Me: No, it's cool. My sister is coming to pick me up.
Iain: But I don't mind.
Me: It's cool.
Iain: But this way she won't have to get out of the house and come get you.
Me: But it's totally out of your way!
Iain: I. Don't. Mind.
Me: She might already be on her way.
Iain: If you call her now, you can probably catch her.
Me: Nah, it's cool. It's totally out of your way, and she doesn't mind.
Iain: ...........

I'm sure he wanted to take the cash drawer and bang me over the head with it.

We used to talk about this old abandoned southern plantation that my friends and I went to. I told him ghost stories about it. One night he's all "We should go."

Me: Go?
Iain: To the plantation.
Me: Tonight?
Iain: Yeah! After work. Let's go!
Me: I can't tonight, I'm going to Angie's after work.
Iain: Call her and tell her you'll be late.
Me: I told her I'd be there after work.
Iain: Call her and tell her you'll be late!!
Me: But we won't be able to see anything.
Iain: Sure we will.
Me: It's pitch black up there! What are we gonna really be able to see when it's that dark??

When I recounted this story to Angie an hour later at her house, I think she seriously thought I was retarded. She was like "He wanted you to go to a scary place with him, alone in his car, in the DARK."

Me: Ohhh.. OHHHHHH~ Do you think...?
Angie: YES I THINK!
Me: But he hasn't asked me out or anything.
Angie: How can you be so smart and so stupid at the same time?

I don't know, Angie. I don't know. It's like some affliction from birth. In my defense, I had a Very Unfortunate Haircut at the time, and little to no self-esteem. And I think the self-esteem issue was way less attractive than the haircut, in retrospect.

So, what happened to Iain, you ask? He transferred to another store. The last night he was there, I wanted to say something to him. I wanted to Have A Moment. I wanted a mixed tape, the first song being Tracy Chapman's ~give me one reason to stay here, and I'll turn right back around~. (wasn't that SO John Hughes movie of me?)

Alas, the moment never came. There was a lot of awkwardness instead. I don't know if it was from both of us, or just me. One of his friends came by and met him after work. We walked out in the parking lot together after we closed, and we could hear Travis Tritt singing at Riverfest a few blocks away. We all sort of lingered there a few moments, listening to Travis Tritt. None of us liked him, but we just stood there, commenting how well we could hear him. Then we just sort of drifted off. I think I hugged him, but I can't remember.

I only saw him once after that. I drove all the way to Anniston with Angie to stake out the store, to see how he was. He was doing good. I haven't seen him since. When I came home from Reno and started working at the mall again, I remembered to ask what happened to Iain. I can't remember what they told me, I only remember that they said (with a hint of Southern disgust) that the last time they'd seen him he had green hair or something. It made me smile.

As silly as it sounds, I'm still not sure if he ever wanted to date me, or if we just hit it off like good friends sometimes do, and our only connection was that and nothing else. All I know, is that I wish I could tell him that I did, in fact, have an insane crush on him from day one.

And to thank him for The Ramones.

Thank you so VERY much.