Angst Continued

As I get older, I realize that the teacher that made those comments was having problems of her own. She was not happy in her marriage and she took me into her confidence about it. How was a 17 year old to know anything about the complexities of marriage? Not to mention the rumors of her affair with a student that I cannot confirm or deny. Looking back at the situation I think that she craved male attention. I don't know if that had anything to do with what she told me, but I do think that she believed what she told me.

If I look back on my life, I can see where what she said has shaped every relationship I've ever had with a man. I don't think that I exist to them. This? Makes me sad. One, because I missed out on some really fun and potentially great relationships. Two, because part of me still believes that she's right. I'm telling that part to shut the fuck up, already.

One of my best friends on the planet is male, and he has been trying to get me to believe him for months as he risks his "guy club membership" to tell me the truth about men. And I, of course, have not believed him.

"He was flirting with you."

"No he wasn't."

"Yes. He was."

"Naw."

"Yaw!"

"Why would he flirt with ME?"

"WHAT?!?!?!"

Sometimes he gets "the frustrated" with me because every conversation we have about men goes this way. In some situations, he goes to the tribal council (his group of friends) to talk my situation over. He always comes back and tells me how they agreed with him, and not with me. Basically, I've learned enough about men to take down several fashion magazines.

I need to make sure it's okay with Josh to post publicly the information that he's given me. He may get kicked out of the guy club. Not that any of you will believe me anyway, because it's crazy-talk. But it all revolves around one simple truth...

Men like women.

We don't need articles about 144 ways to please our man. We don't need make-up. We don't need thongs. We don't need perfect skin, perfect hair, or a perfect body. We don't need just the right skirt, we don't need to shove our feet into uncomfortable shoes, and we don't need to worry so fucking much about what men are thinking. Cause what they are thinking can basically be summed up in this:

Me man.
You woman.
Me like woman.

For most of my adult life I've believed that men didn't see me, and maybe some didn't, but some of them fucking did. You wanna know why? Cause I'm cool, damnit. And I'm funny and cute, and I'm not a crazy bitch. I'm quirky and interesting and smart.

So I'd just like to take this time to say, publicly, that though I might not be the greatest or hottest, I am not invisible. I don't have to take that advice from a woman who has had her own share of man troubles, as a matter-of-fact. I reject her truth and instead choose to adopt my own version of the truth about men. Which is, that though I might not be perfect, I am worthy to be seen, and loved. (by Vin Diesel) And that if a man doesn't "see" me merely because I am not his idea of beauty, then that doesn't mean he's right, it just means he's blind.

Seacrest out!