Junior High Love

Yesterday when Misty and I were coming back in from lunch, we got stopped by a lady that we're friendly with that works in the office downstairs. She wanted to show us the new school pictures she had of her kids. They are both really good-looking kids, but when she showed me a picture of her son.. longish hair.. a little smirky... cute .. AC/DC t-shirt.. I said "Oh.. I would have been *so* into him when I was 14."

And I *so* would have.

We start chatting about her kids, and she tells me what his interests are, and they are the same as most of mine. So then I joke that I seem to only have things in common with boys in Jr. High. This has been true since I was about 19-years-old, working at the mall, and one day realized the only guys that hit on me were about 12-15-years-old. That either makes me really immature, really weird, or awesome. I'm gonna go with awesome.

So later on me and Misty are taking a smoke break outside on the balcony, and I start joking around that I'm going to start trolling the Jr. High (just. KIDDING!). This leads to a conversation about Jr. High love, and how kids are so grown-up these days. She has a niece in Jr. High and said that she heard they all have oral sex now because "it's not sex." Then Misty says if a boy even showed her his penis when she was that age she probably would have run away crying.

I STILL would. Hee hee!

What happened to being innocent when you were young? I remember when the biggest deal was getting one of those notes that said "Do you like me, yes or no?" And then when you said yes, it was as simple as that. You were boyfriend/girlfriend. You didn't worry about sex, or even really kissing. I mean, I thought about kissing, but I didn't actually DO it. You didn't worry about what baggage they had, or if your parents would like him, or if he was a commitment-phobe. He liked you. You liked him. You wore your heart right there on your sleeve. You professed. You wrote passionate jr. high notes like:

Hey!

I just wanted to

D
R
O
P

you a line. You are like, the best boyfriend ever, and like, I love you.

When I was 13, I CRAVED this guy who had a silver skull ring. I would have just died with happiness had he given it to me to wear. I used to steal it off his finger and traipse around with it. Oh, I loved him with a fiery passion. I didn't even care that he knew what a smitten kitten I was over him. I literally couldn't contain myself from being an idiot around him.

Now that I'm single, nearing 30, and my heart has been effectively broken, I miss the simplicity. I told my friend Joey the other day that if a man proposed to me with a silver skull ring, I would be forced to say yes. I can't think of a single jewel that would touch my heart like a silly skull ring would. I can't think of anything better than a guy just flat out telling me (or getting his friend to, or passing a note, hee!) that he likes me. A guy that wasn't too cool to just put it out there (shush, I mean his feelings) like we did when we were young, before we got so jaded.

I'm tired of being jaded. It weighs down my heart and ultimately makes me feel pretty crappy about myself. I find it interesting that the word "freedom" is used so many times in the definition of innocence. I hope one day I can get some of that back.