G'mork and Atreyu

Ask me what I did this weekend. Go ahead, ask me. Nothing, that's what I did this weekend. Ordering a pizza? Well that would be something. This was just.. The Nothing.

"I am the servant of the power behind the Nothing. I was sent to kill the only one who could have stopped the Nothing. I lost him in the Swamps of Sadness. His name was Atreyu.

If we're about to die anyway, I'd rather die fighting! Come for me G'mork! I am Atreyu!"

Sorry, had a little NeverEnding Story flashback. I'm sure it will stop soon. Wow, I'm a nerd. Wanna know why else I'm a nerd? I'll gladly tell you. This morning while I was watching the Discovery Channel I saw two things that are sure to fulfill my life and calm the inner beast within.

1. Shark Week - July 17th
Oh, you're jaded now? You're gonna tell me you've seen Shark Week before? Well I've got news for you. It's different! It's new! It's innovative! (Exclamation point!) It's gonna be hosted by the Mythbusters guys. That's right... you have heard the words spoken out of my fingertips, and you may believe. They are gonna bust the myths behind the movie Jaws and about sharks in general.

Can you really blow up a shark by shooting the air tank lodged in it's massive jaws? I don't know! That's what's so fucking AWESOME about it! I will have popcorn and possibly some sort of bite-sized chocolate snack ready for this television event.

2. Miami Ink - July 19th
A new show debuting that follows 4 friends/rivals as they open a new tattoo parlor together. I need to lay down cause of all the excitement. I hope it's like Blow Out, but with tattoos.

Oh, that's right. I watch Blow Out. What? We're gonna have words now? You're gonna tell me that Jonathan is an asshole and a crybaby? Well I have news for you. I know this.

Don't tell me you don't watch this show. Don't you watch Bravo? (I do! Project Greenlight? Yes. Being Bobby Brown? Yes! Queer Eye? Uh-huh!) I know that Jonathan is a bad man. I know he is shallow. I don't care. I love him. He throws "product" against the wall because it's not what he wants? Someone! Quickly! Get a towel! Clean up Jonathan's hissy fit, A.S.A.P. I will tune in. My brain is rotting right out of my adorable head and I love. every. second.

In other news.... I saw Alex & Nathan's house this weekend. They have Neverland in their backyard - no shit. I think I saw Tinkerbell. Coulda been a mosquito wearing a dress, I'm still debating. I watched "The Pacifier" this weekend. (Vin Diesel shirtless? Where is the bad in this? I tell you where. It's gone. It doesn't exist.) I also watched, for the first time, Witches of Eastwick. I think I may have a crush on Cher. (I know. But I watched it and I asked myself "What Would Gregg Allman Do?")

And finally, I bought "Essence" by Lucinda Williams. This is a big deal for me because I don't pay for music anymore. This weekend while it rained, I turned off all the lights, lit some candles, and listened to it twice. I even washed dishes. I hate washing dishes, but washing them by candlelight while Lucinda sings to you? Not bad. I think I got in touch with the me that I've missed. The me that blooms in the quiet. So, perhaps The Nothing will not destroy me after all.

MOOOOON CHIIII-YLD!!

(couldn't help myself)